Bo Nix was absolutely on fire this week while Kirk Cousins flopped. The Lions sizzled and the Cowboys fizzled. Taysom Hill cooked while Bijan Robinson went cold.
Eagles 26, Commanders 18: Saquon Barkley had a huge game as the Eagles dropped their division rival. Barkley rushed for 146 yards and 2 touchdowns and had 52 receiving yards as well. Jalen Hurts had 221 passing yards, 39 rushing yards and a rushing score. A.J. Brown caught 5 balls for 65 yards and Dallas Goedert added 5 receptions for 61 yards. Jayden Daniels threw for 191 yards, a touchdown and an interception in the loss. Brian Robinson Jr. rushed for 63 yards and a score. Austin Ekeler caught 8 balls for 89 yards. Zach Ertz added 6 receptions for 47 yards and a touchdown.
Packers 20, Bears 19: The Packers maintained their dominance over the Bears with a blocked field goal as time expired. Jordan Love threw for 261 yards, a touchdown and another pick. He also rushed for a score. Josh Jacobs rushed for 76 yards and a touchdown and caught 4 passes for 58 yards. Christian Watson had 4 receptions for 150 yards. Jayden Reed caught 2 balls for 23 yards and a score. Caleb Williams threw for 231 yards and rushed for 70 more in the loss. D’Andre Swift rushed for 71 yards and a touchdown. Roschon Johnson rushed for 33 yards and a score. Rome Odunze caught 6 balls for 65 yards. D.J. Moore added 7 receptions for 62 yards.
Lions 52, Jaguars 6: The Lions continued to trounce feeble opponents with a thorough thrashing of the Jaguars. Jared Goff threw for 412 yards and 4 touchdowns. David Montgomery rushed for 75 yards and 2 touchdowns while Jahmyr Gibbs rushed for 69 and a score. Amon-Ra St. Brown caught 11 balls for 161 yards and 2 touchdowns. Jameson Williams hauled in 4 receptions for 124 yards and a score. Mac Jones had just 138 passing yards and an interception in the loss. Travis Etienne rushed for just 27 yards. Brian Thomas Jr. caught 5 balls for 82 yards. Evan Engram added 5 receptions for 28 yards.
Vikings 23, Titans 13: Sam Darnold threw for 246 yards and 2 touchdowns in the Vikings’ victory over Tennessee. He also rushed for a third score. Justin Jefferson caught 6 balls for 81 yards and Jordan Addison caught 3 balls for 61 yards and a touchdown. Cam Akers caught a touchdown pass as well. Will Levis threw for 295 yards, a touchdown and an interception. He also led the team, sadly, with 18 rushing yards. Nick Westbrook-Ikhine — and you wonder why the Titans are so bad — led the team with 117 receiving yards and a touchdown. Calvin Ridley added 4 catches for 58 yards.
Dolphins 34, Raiders 19: The Dolphins picked up a big win over the Raiders with 288 passing yards and 3 touchdowns from Tua Tagovailoa. De’Von Achane rushed for 73 yards and a score and also caught 4 balls for 32 yards. Jonnu Smith caught 6 balls for 101 yards and 2 touchdowns. Tyreek Hill corralled 7 balls for 61 yards and a score. Brock Bowers continues his historic run for a rookie tight end with 13 receptions for 126 yards and a touchdown. Nobody else on that team matters.
Rams 28, Patriots 22: The Rams pulled to .500 on the season with a close win over the Patriots. Matthew Stafford tossed 4 touchdowns and threw for 295 yards in the win. Kyren Williams rushed for 86 yards. Puka Nacua caught 7 passes for 123 yards and a touchdown. Cooper Kupp caught 6 balls for 106 yards and 2 touchdowns. Colby Parkinson had a 19-yard touchdown catch. Drake Maye threw for 282 yards, 2 touchdowns and an interception. Rhamondre Stevenson rushed for 73 yards. Kendrick Bourne — yikes — led the team with 5 receptions for 70 yards and a touchdown. Hunter Henry caught 6 balls for 63 yards.
Saints 35, Browns 14: The Saints obliterated the struggling Browns. Derek Carr threw for 248 yards and 2 touchdowns in the win. Taysom Hill rushed for 138 yards and 3 touchdowns on the day — oh, for the love of God — He also caught 8 balls for 50 yards. Marquez Valdes-Scantling caught 2 balls for 87 yards and a touchdown — yes, he “caught” them. Foster Moreau caught 3 balls for 50 yards. Juwan Johnson caught 3 passes for 30 yards and a touchdown. Jameis Winston threw for 395 yards and 2 touchdowns against his former team. Nick Chubb rushed for 50 yards. Jerry Jeudy came out of nowhere with 6 receptions for 142 yards and a touchdown. David Njoku caught 9 balls for 81 yards. Elijah Moore caught 6 balls for 66 yards and a touchdown.
Colts 28, Jets 27: The Colts squeaked out a win over the free-falling Jets. Anthony Richardson seemed to be a little less tired in this one. He threw for 272 yards and a touchdown and also rushed for 32 yards and 2 scores. Jonathan Taylor rushed for 57 yards. Josh Downs caught 5 balls for 84 yards and a score. Alec Pierce caught 3 balls for 74 yards. Michael Pittman Jr. caught 5 balls for 46 yards. Aaron Rodgers threw for 184 yards and 2 touchdowns. Breece Hall rushed for 78 yards and a score and caught 7 balls for 43 yards and another score. Davante Adams caught 6 balls for 72 yards. Garrett Wilson had just 4 receptions for 18 yards.
Steelers 18, Ravens 16: The Steelers gritted out a tough win over the rival Ravens. Russell Wilson threw for 205 yards and an interception. Najee Harris rushed for 63 yards. George Pickens caught 8 balls for 89 yards. Lamar Jackson rushed for 207 yards, a touchdown and a pick in the loss. Derrick Henry rushed for 65 yards and a touchdown. Isaiah Likely caught 4 balls for 75 yards. Zay Flowers caught 2 balls for 39 yards and a touchdown.
Broncos 38, Falcons 6: The Falcons absolutely smoked the helpless Falcons in this one. Bo Nix threw for 307 yards and 4 touchdowns. Javonte Williams rushed for 59 yards and a score. Courtland Sutton caught 7 balls for 78 yards. Devaughn Vele caught 4 balls for 66 yards. Lil’Jordan Humphrey, Marvin Mims Jr., Troy Franklin, and Nate Adkins — now there’s a winning quartet — caught Nix’s four touchdowns. Kirk Cousins threw for 173 yards and a pick in the loss. Bijan Robinson rushed for just 35 yards while catching 4 balls for another 28. Drake London caught 3 balls for 61 yards. Ray-Ray McCloud III caught 6 balls for 46 yards.
Seahawks 20, 49ers 17: The Seahawks came away with a close divisional victory over the Niners. Geno Smith threw for 221 yards and a pick while also adding a rushing touchdown. Ken Walker rushed for 54 yards and a touchdown. Jaxon Smith-Njigba caught 10 balls for 110 yards. D.K. Metcalf caught 7 balls for 70 yards. Brock Purdy threw for 159 yards, a touchdown and a pick in the loss. He also rushed for a score. Christian McCaffrey rushed for 79 yards and caught 4 balls for 27. Jauan Jennings caught 10 balls for 91 yards and a touchdown.
Bills 30, Chiefs 21: The Bills finally knocked off the undefeated Chiefs — whose personal referees must’ve been off for the day. Josh Allen threw for 262 yards, a touchdown and a pick while also rushing for 55 yards and a score. James Cook rushed for 20 yards and 2 touchdowns. Khalil Shakir caught 8 balls for 70 yards. Curtis Samuel caught 5 balls for 58 yards and a touchdown. Patrick Mahomes threw for 196 yards, 3 touchdowns and 2 interceptions in the loss. Kareem Hunt rushed for 60 yards. Xavier Worthy caught 4 balls for 61 yards and a score. DeAndre Hopkins had 3 receptions for 29 yards. Noah Gray caught 4 balls for 23 yards and 2 touchdowns.
Chargers 34, Bengals 27: The Chargers came up big with a huge win over the Bengals. Justin Herbert threw for 297 yards and 2 touchdowns while rushing for 65 yards. J.K. Dobbins rushed for 56 yards and 2 scores. Ladd McConkey had 6 catches for 123 yards while Will Dissly added 4 receptions for 80 yards and a touchdown. Quentin Johnston caught 2 balls for 48 yards and a touchdown. Joe Burrow threw for 356 yards and 3 touchdowns in the loss. Chase Brown rushed for 86 yards and caught 5 balls for 57 yards. Tee Higgins had 9 receptions for 148 yards and a touchdown. Ja’Marr Chase caught 7 balls for 75 yards and 2 touchdowns.
Texans 34, Cowboys 10: The Texans knocked the snot out of their state rivals. (Is Mike McCarthy fired yet?) C.J. Stroud threw for 257 yards and a pick. Joe Mixon rushed for 109 yards and 3 touchdowns. Nico Collins caught 4 balls for 54 yards. Tank Dell added 4 receptions for 54 yards. Cooper Rush — oh, God, it’s bad — threw for 354 yards, a touchdown and a pick in the loss. Rico Dowdle rushed for just 28 yards. CeeDee Lamb caught 8 balls for 93 yards. KaVontae Turpin had 3 receptions for 86 yards and a touchdown.
