Tank Bigsby had an explosive week while Rhamondre Stevenson was almost nonexistent. Lamar Jackson had an explosive game while Deshaun Watson injured himself and fell flat again. Saquon Barkley had a huge revenge game against the Giants and Patrick Mahomes continues to underhelm.
Broncos 33, Saints 10: Sean Payton had a dominant return to his old stomping grounds in a Broncos rout of the Saints. Bo Nix threw for just 164 yards but rushed for 75 more. Javonte Williams rushed for 88 yards and 2 scores. Troy Franklin caught 5 balls for 50 yards. Courtland Sutton… missing in action. Spencer Rattler rattled off 172 passing yards and 34 rushing yards. Kendre Miller added 36 rushing yards. Cedrick Wilson Jr. caught 6 balls for 57 yards and a touchdown. Something called Mason Tipton tallied 6 catches for 45 yards.
Jaguars 32, Patriots 16: Tank Bigsby and the Jaguars ran roughshod over the Patriots in London. Bigsby had 118 yards and 2 touchdowns. Brian Thomas Jr. caught 5 balls for 89 yards and a score. Evan Engram added 5 catches for 35 yards. Drake Maye threw for 276 yards and 2 scores. He and Rhamondre Stevenson both led the team with 18 rushing yards apiece. Hunter Henry caught 8 balls for 92 yards. JaMycal Hasty and K.J. Osborn each caught a touchdown.
Seahawks 34, Falcons 14: Geno Smith led the Seahawks to a dominating victory over the Falcons. Smith threw for 207 yards and 2 touchdowns. Ken Walker rushed for 69 yards and a score while adding 2 receptions for 24 yards and a touchdown. D.K. Metcalf caught 4 balls for 99 yards and a touchdown. Noah Fant added 4 catches for 65 yards. Kirk Cousins had 2 picks on the day with 232 passing yards and a score. The team finally stopped screwing around and fed Bijan Robinson 21 times for 103 yards and a touchdown. Kyle Pitts had 7 catches for 65 yards to lead the team. Drake London corralled 6 balls for 63 yards and a score.
Bills 34, Titans 10: The Bills trounced a feeble and overmatched Titans squad. Josh Allen had 323 passing yards and 2 touchdowns. Ray Davis and James Cook each rushed for a touchdown. Keon Coleman caught 4 passes for 125 yards. Amari Cooper in his new digs caught 4 balls for 66 yards and a score. Khalil Shakir had 7 catches for 65 yards. Meanwhile, Mason Rudolph blows, so there wasn’t much happening for the Titans. You should probably ditch your Titans players.
Bengals 21, Browns 14: The Browns fell flat on their faces and lost Deshaun Watson in the process. Joe Burrow threw for 181 yards and 2 touchdowns, one to each of his stud receivers. Tee Higgins had 4 catches for 82 yards and the score and Ja’Marr Chase finished with 5 catches for 55 yards and the touchdown. Chase Brown had just 44 yards rushing. Nick Chubb rushed for 22 yards and a touchdown in the loss. David Njoku caught 10 balls for 76 yards and a score. Cedric Tillman added 8 catches for 81 yards.
Packers 24, Texans 22: Jordan Love led a late, game-winning field goal drive that enabled the Packers to pick up a victory over the Texans. Love tossed 3 touchdowns and 2 picks on the day, continuing his hot and cold moments. Josh Jacobs rushed for 76 yards and also caught 5 balls for 16 and a touchdown. Romeo Doubs had 8 catches for 94 yards. Dontayvion Wicks and Tucker Kraft each hauled in a touchdown. C.J. Stroud had a whopping 86 yards passing in the loss. Joe Mixon rushed for 115 and 2 touchdowns. Stefon Diggs had 5 catches for only 23 yards.
Colts 16, Dolphins 10: In a battle between two bad teams whom nobody cares much about, the Colts eked out a victory. Anthony Richardson had just 129 passing yards and 56 rushing yards. Tyler Goodson had 51 rushing yards and a touchdown. Michael Pittman Jr. caught 3 balls for 63 yards. De’Von Achane rushed for 77 yards for the Dolphins. Raheem Mostert added 50. Jonnu Smith caught 7 passes for 96 yards and a touchdown. Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle had a combined 2 catches for 19 yards. Woof.
Lions 31, Vikings 29: It was a tight battle between NFC North rivals in which the Lions stole a victory with a late field goal. Jared Goff threw for 280 yards and 2 touchdowns. Jahmyr Gibbs rushed for 116 yards and 2 scores. Amon-Ra St. Brown caught 8 balls for 112 yards and a touchdown. Kalif Raymond snagged 3 balls for 39 yards and a touchdown. Sam Darnold threw for 259 yards, a touchdown and a pick. Aaron Jones rushed for 93 yards and a score. Justin Jefferson hauled in 7 receptions for 81 yards and a touchdown.
Eagles 28, Giants 3: Saquon Barkley had himself a huge “revenge” game against his former team. Barkley rushed for 176 yards and a touchdown. A.J. Brown caught 5 balls for 89 yards and a score. Hardly any Giants did anything of substance in this one. Malik Nabers caught 4 passes for 41 yards and Wan’Dale Robinson snagged 6 passes for 23 yards.
Rams 20, Raiders 15: The Raiders coughed up the ball four times in a close loss to the Rams. Kyren Williams rushed for 76 yards and 2 touchdowns. Tyler Johnson caught 4 balls for 57 yards and Tutu Atwell finished with 6 catches for 51 yards. Gardner Minshew tossed 3 picks in this one. Alexander Mattison rushed for 92 yards and also caught 3 balls for 31. Brock Bowers caught 10 passes for 93 yards.
Commanders 40, Panthers 7: Jayden Daniels exited early with a rib injury but the Commanders still cooked against a feeble Panthers squad. Marcus Mariota threw for 205 yards and 2 touchdowns and also rushed for 34 more. Brian Robinson Jr. totaled 71 yards and a score. Terry McLaurin caught 6 passes for 98 yards. Zach Ertz caught 4 balls for 40 yards and a touchdown. Chuba Hubbard rushed for 52 yards and a touchdown. Ja’Tavion Sanders caught 6 passes for 61 yards.
Chiefs 28, 49ers 18: The Chiefs remain unbeaten after a triumphant Super Bowl rematch. Patrick Mahomes had just 154 passing yards and 2 interceptions. He did rush for 39 yards and a touchdown. Mecole Hardman rushed for 38 yards and a score. Kareem Hunt rushed for 78 yards and 2 scores. Noah Gray caught 4 passes for 66 yards. Brock Purdy tossed 3 picks in this one. A lot of terrible quarterback play in this one. Purdy did, however, rush for 2 touchdowns. George Kittle caught 6 passes for 92 yards. No one else really did anything of substance.
Steelers 37, Jets 15: Russell Wilson started slow but wound up cooking in a thorough dismantling of the Jets. Wilson finished with 264 passing yards and 2 touchdowns. He also rushed for a score. Najee Harris had 102 yards on the ground and a score. George Pickens caught 5 balls for 111 yards and a touchdown. Aaron Rodgers passed for 276 yards, a touchdown and two picks. Breece Hall rushed for just 38 yards but added a touchdown. He led the team with 6 receptions for 103 yards. Garrett Wilson had 5 catches for 61 yards. And Rodgers’ old buddy, Davante Adams, had 3 catches for 30 yards.
Ravens 41, Buccaneers 31: Lamar Jackson threw 5 touchdowns in a trouncing of the Buccaneers. Jackson had 281 yards through the air and 52 on the ground. Derrick Henry led the rushing attack with 169 yards on the ground. He also caught a receiving touchdown. Rashod Bateman caught 4 passes for 121 yards and a touchdown. Justice Hill caught 3 balls for 44 yards and a score. Mark Andrews finished with 4 receptions for 41 yards and 2 touchdowns. Baker Mayfield had 370 yards, 3 scores and 2 picks. Bucky Irving rushed for a touchdown while the backfield remained split. Cade Otton caught 8 passes for 100 yards. Rachaad White caught 6 balls for 71 yards and 2 touchdowns. Chris Godwin had 7 receptions for 65 yards before he got hurt. Mike Evans caught one ball, a 25-yard touchdown.
Cardinals 17, Chargers 15: The Cardinals outlasted the Chargers in a low-scoring affair. Kyler Murray had 206 total yards and 2 scores. James Conner had 152 all-purpose yards including 2 receptions. Trey McBride had 5 catches for 51 yards. Marvin Harrison Jr. had 3 receptions for 21 yards. Greg Dortch caught a 5-yard touchdown pass. Justin Herbert threw for 349 yards. J.K. Dobbins rushed for 40 and caught 3 balls for 26. Will Dissly — seriously? — led the team 8 receptions for 81 yards.