Joe Burrow lit the world on fire with 5 touchdowns this week while Jordan Love and the Packers fizzled out. Lamar Jackson and Derrick Henry stayed hot while all Raiders fantasy options continued to flounder. Jayden Daniels and the Commanders stayed hot while the Browns Brownsed all over themselves.
Jets 21, Texans 13: Look out! Maybe the Jets and the corpse of Aaron Rodgers have some life in them, after all. Rodgers threw for 211 yards and 3 touchdowns. Breece Hall rushed for 74. Garrett Wilson caught 9 balls for 90 yards and 2 touchdowns while Davante Adams added 7 receptions for 91 yards and a score. C.J. Stroud threw for 191 yards in the loss but rushed for 59 more. Joe Mixon had 106 rushing yards and a touchdown. Tank Dell caught 6 balls for 126 yards.
Falcons 27, Cowboys 21: Is Mike McCarthy fired yet? Kirk Cousins threw for 222 yards and 3 touchdowns. Bijan Robinson rushed for 86 yards while catching 7 balls for 59 yards. Tyler Allgeier scored a rushing touchdown. Darnell Mooney caught 5 balls for 88 yards and a touchdown. Ray-Ray McCloud III and Drake London each caught a touchdown pass. Dak Prescott threw for 133 yards and a touchdown before exiting early. Cooper Rush added 115 yards and a touchdown. Rico Dowdle rushed for 75 yards while catching 5 passes for 32 and a touchdown. Jake Ferguson caught 7 balls for 71 yards. CeeDee Lamb added 8 receptions for 47 yards.
Bills 30, Dolphins 27: Tyler Bass drilled a 61-yard walk off field goal. Josh Allen threw for 235 yards and 3 touchdowns in the win. James Cook rushed for just 44 yards while catching 5 balls for 25 more. Ray Davis caught 2 passes for 70 yards and a touchdown. Khalil Shakir had 6 receptions for 50 yards. Mack Hollins and Quintin Morris — audible sigh — each caught touchdowns. Tua Tagovailoa threw for 231 yards and 2 touchdowns. De’Von Achane rushed for 63 yards and a score while adding 8 receptions for 58 yards and another touchdown. Tyreek Hill caught 4 balls for 80 yards.
Bengals 41, Raiders 24: Joe Burrow had himself a game with 251 passing yards and 5 touchdowns. Chase Brown rushed for 120 yards while also catching 5 balls for 37 yards and a score. Mike Gesicki caught 5 balls for 100 yards and 2 touchdowns. Ja’Marr Chase hauled in 7 receptions for 43 yards. Drew Sample and Andrei Iosivas — good grief — each caught a touchdown. Desmond Ridder (pass), Zamir White (rush), and Brock Bowers (catch) all recorded touchdowns. Jakobi Meyers had 8 receptions for 105 yards. Nobody else matters; this Raiders team is a mess.
Chargers 27, Browns 10: Justin Herbert threw for 282 yards and 2 touchdowns. J.K. Dobbins rushed for 85 yards and 2 touchdowns. Quentin Johnston caught 4 balls for 118 yards and a touchdown. Ladd McConkey added 5 receptions for 64 yards. Josh Palmer caught 2 balls for 63 yards and a score. The other side of Jameis Winston lives! Winston tossed 3 picks in the loss — while also accounting for 235 passing yards and a touchdown. Cedric Tillman caught 6 balls for 75 yards and a touchdown. Jerry Jeudy hauled in 7 receptions for 73 yards.
Titans 20, Patriots 17: Mason Rudolph threw for 240 yards, 2 touchdowns and a pick. Tony Pollard rushed for 128 yards. Calvin Ridley caught 5 balls for 73 yards. Nick Westbrook-Ikhine — c’mon, man — caught 5 balls for 50 yards and a touchdown. Nick Vannett — seriously? — added 2 receptions for 33 yards and a score. Drake Maye threw for 206 yards, a touchdown and 2 picks. He also led the Patriots in rushing with 95 yards. Rhamondre Stevenson had just 16 rushing yards but added a touchdown on the ground. He also caught 5 balls for 38 yards and a touchdown. Hunter Henry led the team with 7 receptions for 56 yards.
Commanders 27, Giants 20: Jayden Daniels and the Commanders stayed hot with another win. Daniels threw for 209 yards and 2 touchdowns while rushing for 35 yards. Chris Rodrigues Jr. — oh, for the love of… — rushed for 52 yards. Austin Ekeler added 42 yards and a touchdown. Noah Brown thinks he’s hot stuff now after that Hail Mary catch last week, hauling in 5 receptions for 60 yards in this one. Terry McLaurin caught just 2 passes for 19 yards, both for touchdowns. Daniel Jones threw for 174 yards and 2 touchdowns. He added 54 yards on the ground and another score. Tyrone Tracy Jr. rushed for 66 yards. Malik Nabers caught 9 balls for 59 yards. Theo Johnson added 3 receptions for 51 yards and a touchdown.
Panthers 23, Saints 22: The Panthers saved a little face with a division victory over the Saints. Bryce Young threw for 171 yards, a touchdown and a pick. Chuba Hubbard rushed for 72 yards and 2 scores. Ja’Tavion Sanders caught 4 balls for 87 yards. Xavier Legette caught 4 balls for 33 yards and a touchdown. Derek Carr threw for 236 yards and a touchdown. Alvin Kamara rushed for 155 yards while also leading the team with 6 receptions for 60 more yards. Taysom Hill scored a rushing touchdown and caught 4 balls for 41 yards. Good for him for staying relevant. Foster Moreau had a 17-yard touchdown reception. Yay.
Ravens 41, Broncos 10: The Ravens obliterated the Broncos behind 280 passing yards and 3 touchdowns from Lamar Jackson. Derrick Henry rushed for 106 yards and 2 scores. Zay Flowers caught 5 balls for 127 yards and 2 touchdowns. Patrick Ricard — what in the blue hell? — caught a touchdown. Bo Nix threw for 223 passing yards and a pick — Courtland Sutton had more passing touchdowns than him, with one! Although, Nix caught that touchdown pass, so good for him.
Eagles 28, Jaguars 23: Jalen Hurts threw for 230 yards and 2 touchdowns in the victory. He also rushed for one — surprise, surprise. Saquon Barkley rushed for 159 yards and a touchdown while looking like Superman avoiding defenders. DeVonta Smith caught 4 balls for 87 yards and a score while Barkley added 3 receptions for 40 yards and another touchdown. Trevor Lawrence threw for 169 yards and 2 interceptions in the loss. He did rush for 2 touchdowns. Evan Engram caught 5 balls for 45 yards and something called Parker Washington caught 3 balls for 41 yards.
Cardinals 29, Bears 9: The Bears went into the tank after their Hail Mary loss last week. The Cardinals pounded them on the ground with James Conner rushing for 107 yards, Emari Demercado adding 59 yards and a touchdown, and Trey Benson churning out 37 yards for another score. Trey McBride recorded a rushing touchdown and added 3 receptions for 35 yards. Caleb Williams threw for 217 yards in the loss. D’Andre Swift rushed for 51 yards while adding 6 receptions for 31 more yards. Rome Odunze caught 5 balls for 104 yards, Keenan Allen caught 4 balls for 36 yards, and D.J. Moore caught 4 passes for 33 yards.
Lions 24, Packers 14: The Lions scored a big division victory over the Packers. Jared Goff threw for just 145 yards and a touchdown. David Montgomery rushed for 73 yards and caught 3 balls for 23. Jahmyr Gibbs rushed for 65 yards and a score. Amon-Ra St. Brown caught 7 passes for 56 yards and a touchdown. Jordan Love threw for 273 yards and a very terrible pick — yes, another one this year. Josh Jacobs rushed for 95 yards. Emanuel Wilson — sweet Jesus — rushed for 28 yards and a touchdown. Jayden Reed showed up this week, catching 5 balls for 113 yards. Nobody else really mattered.
Rams 26, Seahawks 20: The Rams scored an impressive overtime divisional victory. Matthew Stafford threw for 298 yards and 2 touchdowns. Kyren Williams rushed for 69 yards. Cooper Kupp caught 11 passes for 104 yards. Demarcus Robinson caught 6 balls for 94 yards and 2 touchdowns. Geno Smith threw for 363 yards, 3 touchdowns and 3 picks. Ken Walker rushed for 83 yards and caught 3 balls for 24 more. Jaxon Smith-Njigba caught 7 passes for 180 yards and 2 touchdowns. Tyler Lockett caught 3 balls for 63 yards and a score.
Vikings 21, Colts 13: Sam Darnold threw for 290 yards, 3 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. Aaron Jones rushed for 64 yards. Justin Jefferson caught 7 balls for 137 yards. Josh Oliver and Jordan Addison each caught touchdown passes. Jalen Nailor — son of a… — caught the third touchdown. Joe Flacco still has some gas in the tank. The 65-year-old quarterback had 179 passing yards in the loss. Jonathan Taylor had just 48 rushing yards and 11 receiving yards. Josh Downs led the team with 6 catches for 60 yards.
Chiefs 30, Buccaneers 24: The Chiefs won again. Surprise, surprise. Patrick Mahomes threw for 291 yards and 3 touchdowns. Kareem Hunt rushed for 106 yards and a score. Travis Kelce caught 14 balls for 100 yards. DeAndre Hopkins hauled in 8 receptions for 86 yards and 2 touchdowns. Samaje Perine — get the hell outta here — caught 4 balls for 25 yards and a touchdown. Baker Mayfield threw for 200 yards and 2 touchdowns. Bucky Irving rushed for 24 yards and added 10 more in the air. Rachaad White rushed for 19 yards and a touchdown and caught 3 balls for 16 yards. Cade Otton was the man again with 8 receptions for 77 yards and a touchdown. The ghost of Sterling Shepard added 4 receptions for 48 yards.
